Gah!  BAD INTERNET, YOU GET NO COOKIE.  I can't believe I pay my internet provider what I do.  Serioiusly.  I called and called for a month and they kept saying, "Your hooked up to the network as far as we can see," and wouldn't do anything about it. :/  It turns out that the router they gave me was faulty...but there was no way to know.  Well, they could have known if they'd sent someone out to help.  Instead I had to take it in and insist they look at it just in case that was the problem.  And I was right.  :P  So they gave me a new one for free and a month of free service.  *rolls eyes*  Wouldn't be surprised if something else happens so that my free month of service isn't really free.  But what can you do.  Definitely not going back to dial-up!

I know I said I'd write in here........but I can't bring myself to do it.  I write something and it sounds stupid and whiny and I don't want people to think taht THAT is the real me.  Maybe it is the real me.  I don't know.  :(

And I feel bad that i try to make friends IRL and it doesn't work.  It's like I'll always be an outsider.  I can't believe I've reduced myself to interest searches on LiveJournal just to find people with the same hobbies as me.  But you know there aren't that many people out there who are into the same things I am.  They think animals are just.......entertainment or the possible next meal, not living, breathing, thinking creatures who are not too different from us.  Sorry for teh rant, I just seem to be running into a lot of people lately who are blind to the wonders of nature.

Times like this, I don't feel so hot.  Alone, in my apartment by myself with no one to call or do things with.  I wish my landlord would let me have a cat at least.  I feel so lonely.  :(  I didn't know what to do except post that here.  I guess that's not very productive.

*whistles and hears it echoing around the room*

Um.  I guess that's it.  Sorry to be a downer.

Yay!  New icon!  I think it's a lioness and not a puma, but one can't be absolutely sure, right?

It's pretty, anyhow.  :)

I really need an icon, but I haven't been able to find any puma ones.  :(  I guess I'll just have to keep searching.

Today it was so rainy and wet outside...not like winter's supposed to be.  I want snow.  Lots of snow.  Wished I lived in Colorado or someplace like that, somewhere wild and mountainous.

Maybe one day...

Someone left a rose on my desk at work!!!  I don't know, maybe it was just a friendly (female) co-worker...trying to brighten someone's day...or maybe someone has a crush on me!  Heh.  That would be pretty exciting.  And weird.  I don' tknow if I want that kind of complication in the workplace, y'know?

Still. I have a rose.

Just for me!

Have you ever felt like someone was watching you but there was no one there?  Yeah...  That was me this morning, after I got out of the shower.  I don't mean I thought someone was stalking me, I'm sure no one was at my window or anything. It was just a prescence.  Funny.

It's weird, I like being single and yet...I don't.  I feel like I'm not "grown up" enough to get married but I can't help but watching over the shoulders of people who are planning their weddings like...I dunno, like a schoolgirl I guess.

It's like I can't decide whether I'm happy or not, as who I am and where I am.  Hrmph.